Viva Pinata- Pairings for the Crack Section
by Let Go of My Faygo
Summary: Just starting over on the pairing challenge :) I went ahead and started to post all the ones I had before without all my old OCs. Please enjoy the hilarity ahead
1. Babochka's Crush

**Whelp, I decided to once again go for Epic Laughter's pinata pairing challenge :) I started over, since I have different OCs now, there is no point for me to keep all the other pairings that had Seiko or Dustin in them. I also wanted to start over on Maddie's as well, since her only ones were with Dustin and Seiko. So, I will repost all the ones I had before, just to get started :)**

* * *

The sound of a little girl giggle was heard.

"He loves me, he loves me not. He loves me, he loves me not..." Babochka said in a sing-song voice, plucking off the petals of a daisy flower. She had a crush- and not a small little girl crush either. It was a much BIGGER crush.

"He loves me, he loves me not," She said, now carrying the flower as she skipped down the streets. She couldn't wait to see him- her prince. She started to hum to herself, her dark hair swinging behind her freely. She was so content with herself, she almost missed the sounds of the sirens rush past her. Babochka's eyes widened and she looked behind her, seeing Doc Patch Patchingo racing away as quickly as he could, obviously out on a run to save another pinata. He was so nice, risking so much to save the life of a pinata. Babochka knew that, which was one of the reasons she liked him. Yet, she couldn't help but watch as he raced away.

Her prince drove away once again.

"He loves me, he loves me not. He loves me, he loves me not," she sang softly, watching the roads to wait for him to come back.

* * *

**Yup, the first Babochka one... BTW, if you have any suggestions for pairings, feel free to message them to me :D**


	2. SahariXMaxime

**This one is old and completely stupid. I am not sorry about it at all. **

* * *

"HAHAHA! Success!" Pester shouted happily. Dastardos rolled his eyes, flipping his whacking stick into the air and catching it.

"What did you make THIS time?" He asked. Pester smirked, holding the gun-like object in his hand. He extended his arm, pointing it at Dastardos. The reaper wasn't looking, and he couldn't see what was going on.

"Well, let's have a look, shall we?" Pester said, pulling the trigger. Dastardos had just turned around when he was hit with the rays of the gun. Pester watched in amazement as Dastardos flew back, crashing into the wall behind him. Pester let out a loud laugh, proud of himself that he had hit Dastardos before he even noticed. Now he was waiting patiently to see the results, walking over to get a good look at his minion. After all, the gun wasn't designed to kill anyone- rather it was to knock them out long enough so Pester could get his seed out and he wouldn't have to listen to the screams of the dumbass island girls when he would start to-

"Well Golly, that ray hit me faster then a Shellybean on a treadmill!" A high-pitched voice sounded suddenly. Pester raised a brow at the statement, confused about what it said, rather then try and figure out who the heck snuck into his base.

"Shellybean on a... That doesn't even make sense!"

"Tee-hee, of course it does silly Juicygoose!" The voice said again as Dastardos started to get up. But Pester was too pre-occupied trying to figure out where the voice was coming from instead.

"Show yourself you bastard!" Pester screamed out, glaring around angrily. The voice then giggled.

"Turn around then, Pesties," Pester turned around, but he only saw Dastardos, though something was different about the pinata reaper. Dastardos had one fist on his hip, and his hip was sticking out like the way a girl would do it. He had a big smile on his face, and his other hand came up to cover his mouth in fake-surprise.

"Whoopsie! Looks like you found me~" He said in a sing-song voice. Pester just about dropped his gun.

"Dastardos? Was that you?" Dastardos looked back and forth playfully, his spiky silver hair swishing a bit as he did so.

"Of course it was Pesties. There is no one else in here except you, me, and that creepy Arochnid over there that is looking at me as if I'm some Taffly or something..." Dastardos muttered, taking out his Whacking stick and chucking it, "DIE YOU COCKSUCKER!" The Arochnid screamed, trying to get away as fast as it could. Unfortunately, it was too slow, and the impact of the stick made it explode, making the candy spill everywhere.

"BULLSEYE~" Dastardos screamed in the sing-song voice. Pester couldn't believe what he was seeing.

"What in the world is wrong with you! This gun was supposed to knock you out," Pester muttered, now looking down at the metal in his hands, "Or maybe the gun wasn't supposed to knock you out... Maybe instead, it makes people EXTREMELY out of character!"

"Oh Pesties, I knew you were smarter then an Ellephanilla in a Spelling Buzzlegum!"

"... or maybe EXTREMELY annoying." Pester muttered, throwing the gun into the trash can beside him. He was angry- another failure! Not only does it mean he can bag a bunch of women, but now he will have to deal with Gaystardos from now on- and mind you, it will NOT be a win...

Dastardos licked his ugly bottom lip, wrapping his arm around Pester's.

"Come on Pesties, we have SO much we gotta do!"

"Yeah? Like what?" Pester muttered. Dastardos smiled wider at that statement.

"You know, like tattoos, piercing random places on our bodies, dying bright pink and blue streaks into our hair- not to mention the hot YAOI sex we are going to have when we get back!" Dastardos said excitedly. Pester's eyes widened.

"WHAT? SEX?"

"Tee-hee! I bet you're all big down there!"

"EWWWWW! I WILL NEVER HAVE SEX WITH THE LIKES OF alright lets go," Pester said, leading Dastardos out the door. Experimenting a little couldn't hurt... Right?

"Oh Pesties, you make me hornier then a Flapyak!"

"Okay, you SERIOUSLY have to stop those weird... whatever they are... and stop calling me 'Pesties'!" Pester growled, locking the door behind him before going to town with Dastardos.

* * *

~IN ANOTHER PLACE IN THE REAL WORLD

* * *

"UGH... That took FOREVER to write!" A young teenage girl said, closing her laptop. Bags laid under her eyes, showing how tired she was. That, or she has been on the computer too much... AGAIN!

"Now that I got thatpairing done, I can get on with my life and finally do some straight stuff-"

"Not so fast, bitch." A cold hearted voice said from behind her. The girl turned her head slowly, seeing an extremely pissed Dastardos with his whacking stick in his hands.

"Oh shit..." The girl muttered.

"What kind of shit is this? A shitty-ass ME AND FUCKING PESTER?"

"Oh come on! It's just crack! It's not cannon or anything," She said, "Or IS it?" The sly look she gives just about did it for Dastardos.

"... That's it fatass. You have now bought yourself a death wish."

"OH shit... and I'm not THAT fat!"


	3. DastardosXPester

**This is the most OOC thing I ever wrote in my life...**

* * *

God this is so confusing.

"Eddie, you know that I love her!"

"But I love her too Sparcticus! Besides, I met her first- Sahari is mine!"

"And I can kick your ass faster then you can comb your hair."

"And I can call a lawyer and sue you for assault before you can lay a finger on me! Besides, you wouldn't even know Sahari if it wasn't for me," Eddie said, crossing his arms in a very childish way. Sparcticus balled his hands into fists. As much as he wanted to beat up the Lizard boy... Eddie was totally right.

"Come on guys please don't do this!" Sahari pleaded, putting her hands up. She couldn't believe that this was happening. She always had the feeling that Eddie liked her, but Sparcticus liked her too, and now they were arguing over her.

"Come on you guys are friends! Please don't fight over me," Sahari said, holding her hands up. She felt a hand being placed on her shoulder.

"Sahari, you know what you have to do," Maxime's voice sounded, "If you want them to stop, your going to have to choose between them." Sahari whimpered a bit. Choose between Eddie Lizard and Sparcticus? How could anyone make such a decision?

"So who is it Sahari? Me, or Sparcticus?" Eddie asked, his purple eyes staring right at her. Sparcticus's piercing blue eyes looked at her too, widening a bit. Maxime stood beside her friend, looking at her. Dammit, why was everyone staring at her?

But no time to worry about that- she had a decision to make.

"Ummm..." Sahari said, starting to bite her nail. They were both so good looking- either one would be a major win. Her brown eyes darted back and forth between the two, before her eyes settled on the second set of brown that was there. She now knew her answer.

She had to go gay.

"I choose you, Maxime," Sahari said. Maxime's eyes widened as Sahari pulled her down into a kiss, lifting up her mask in the process. Sparcticus's eyes widened and be backed away a little, and Eddie's head hung in shame. He had lost once again. Sahari finally pulled away from her surprised friend. Maxime sniffled a bit, which was VERY unlike her.

"Oh Sahari," She said, "I always loved you. It always hurt me to see you with either-"

"Oh please Maxime. Stop acting like some gushy Mary-Sue and kiss me."

"... Okay," Maxime said, and the two started to make out all over again.

"... I can't believe I lost her too..." Eddie said, hanging his head. Sparcticus nodded.

"Yes... Not only Maxime, but Sahari too..."

"Shut up. You lost her too Eskimo."

"... Dammit."


	4. Babochka's Second Crush

Babochka skipped over the bridge, humming to herself happily. She stopped in the middle of the bridge, looking over into the swamp. It was as murky as ever, and some tafflies were getting stuck in it. Nothing really unusual.

What caught her eye though was a little white flutterscotch that was flying over the murky water. Babochka giggled, finishing her walk across the bridge. She ran over to the side of the swamp, watching the flutterscotch fly around. She giggled, getting on her knees and starting to lean in a little bit. The flutterscotch started to fly a bit closer, almost in an arms length away. Babochka stuck her arm out- maybe she could catch it.

"Here little Flutterscotch~" She said in a sing-song tone, holding both of her arms out and reaching forward. She could almost reach it...

Unfortunately, she was so focused she almost missed the little ledge she was on starting to crumble. Babochka let out a tiny shriek, starting to feel herself starting to drop slightly. At least until a pair of hands reached out and pulled her back, just before her dress touched the murky water.

"Be careful there little girl- you could fall and get stuck in the swamp if your not careful," Seedos said as he let her go. Babochka looked up at him, her brown eyes looking at his purple ones.

"... Seedos?" She said carefully, as if she wasn't sure if that was his name. Seedos nodded, scratching the side of his mask.

"Yes- try to be careful, okay? The swamp can be a dangerous place," He said with a wag of his finger. He then stood up straight, turned around and walked across the bridge to begin his search for seeds. Babochka tilted her head as she watched him walk away.

At that moment, Babochka practically forgot about Patch. Her little five year old heart was starting to settle on someone else.


	5. EddieXPester

**I already gave this to Epic Laughter as a tribute for her amazing pairings, but I didn't want to write another story for this one and I decided to post it here as well :) Enjoy it for the second time~**

* * *

"Man, after all that hard work to catch those women, and yet I STILL have no wife!" Pester growled to himself, pacing back and forth. Dastardos rolled his eyes, floating over on the side all bored-like.

"Well, you did get married to someone,"

"But it was that damn Lizard boy! I mean seriously, does he have issues or something?"

"I think he just wanted to save the women from getting into bed with a slob like you," Dastardos said absently, a small smirk on his face. Pester glared over at the pinata reaper.

"You know, you don't have to insult me,"

"Oh, but it's so much fun," Dastardos said sarcastically, swinging his right arm for emphasis on the word 'fun'. Pester rolled his eyes, going back to his frantic pacing. Dastardos examined his pinata stick.

"I thought you were just going to clone yourself for an heir," he said. Pester groaned.

"I was, but I still need someone to be with me!"

"Why?"

"I have personal needs like everyone else Dastardos! Sometimes, I just HAVE to let off some steam-"

"Oh God, do NOT finish that sentence," Dastardos said, pretending to gag. Oh, if only he still had his gagging reflexes...

"Oh don't be a baby," Pester said, tapping a finger to the chin of his bulky mask. He needed something, just SOMETHING, or someONE, that could satisfy his needs.

And he knew just the person.

* * *

Eddie winced, sitting down on the expensive couch. After a long lecture, and congratulations from his father, his head hurt, and he needed to rest. He was tired, he was sore from the bruises, and sadly still a bit heartbroken that Maxime only thinks of him as a friend. A friend. The girl of his dreams, thinks of him as a friend, after all he's done to get her and all the other girls back home safetly.

She certainly was difficult.

"If being a hero won't get her to like me, something must! Why must she be so difficult?" Eddie asked himself outloud, slouching a bit in his seat. He looked over at the door lazily as the doorbell rang.

"Coming," He called out sadly, heaving his skinny body off of the couch, wincing a bit since his bruise was still throbbing with pain. He walked over lazily to the door, turning the knob to open it. He screamed when he saw who was standing there at the door.

"Hello, Eddie Lizard! Thank goodness, I got the address right this time," Pester muttered, messing with the black wig in his hands. Eddie screamed again.

"Man, you scream like a little GIRL-"

"What in the WORLD are you doing here?" Eddie exclaimed, trying to keep himself from hyperventilating. Was he here to finish the job? Oh man, he was too young to die so soon-

"I have a proposition for you Eddie Lizard," Pester said, standing straight up. Eddie raised a purple brow.

"Um... I don't understand,"

"Eddie, as you know, all men have needs- needs that we need others to satisfy, like after we have a stressful day for instance-"

"Oh God, please don't finish that sentence!" Eddie said, waving his arms to emphisize that Pester REALLY should stop talking. Pester huffed.

"Ugh, you're just as bad as Dastardos! Anyway, I just wanted to ask," Pester said, holding the wig up, "since you are the closest thing I can get to a woman right now since we ARE married-"

"Oh my God..." Eddie said, starting to get what he was going to ask. Pester smiled.

"Can you, I don't know, put the wig back on and we can start over? We can go slowly if you-" Pester was cut off when the door slammed, and the sounds of various locks being clicked were made.


	6. ArfurXSparcticus

**The second one I already gave to Epic Laughter, but due to laziness of writing it again I'm posting it here. :P Enjoy it! ... Again!**

* * *

Arfur sighed. Not again, the old bartender/inn keeper thought to himself. He looked in front of him, at the drunken Eskimo at the bar counter, his head buried in his hands.

"Why did it have to happen?" Sparcticus slurred, sounding truely distraught. Arfur shrugged, not really sure what to say to his friend.

"I'm so sorry my friend- who would have guessed Sahari was into girls?" he said. That's right, you heard him- Sahari was a lesbian.

Earlier that day, Sparcticus had been in the village, talking with his good friend Eddie when he saw it. His head had turned to an unfortunate sight.

Sahari was in town as well, but with a girl. This girl looked to be like she was from the desert, from the looks of her dark hair and desert-like clothes. Even worse, her hand was intertwined with Sahari's- His Sahari's hand.

He passed it off at first as one of those weird things that girls did every now and then, when he saw the desert girl lean over and plant a kiss upon Sahari's cheek, and that Sahari giggled back in a flirty way.

The whole world could have heard Sparcticus's heart break.

"I... I chased her so long... I missed my chance..." Sparcticus said, his eyes drooping over. Arfur sighed sadly. He didn't know what to say. Even he didn't know about Sahari's interest in women, and usually when people get drunk they will spill everything. Sparcticus sighed.

"Do... Do you think I might be able... to get her back?" He asked. Arfur shook his head.

"I'm sorry buddy, but being gay isn't a choice- she can't just decide when she can be straight and when she isn't,"

"Ugh... flapyakshit! She couldn't always have been a lesbian... I swore she was flirting with me the other day..."

"She was probably being friendly. Sparcticus, I think you just have to face it- Sahari only thought of you as a friend," Arfur said, a trace of apology in his voice. Sparcticus looked at him sadly, just before his eyes blazed angrily.

"W-Well, if she wants to be that way, FINE!" Sparcticus said, chugging down the rest of his drink. He slammed it on the counter, a mix of anger and hurt in his action. Arfur's eyes widened a bit, looking at his friend. Sparcticus looked at Arfur back, right in the eyes.

"If she wants to be gay, then I will too," He slurred. Arfur almost dropped his glass.

"Sparcticus, now, there are other girls, and it takes more than just a simple decision to-"

"Arfur... Sahari was, and will be, the only girl I will ever love. I can't settle for any other woman," Sparcticus said, one of his eyes drooping. Arfur raised a brow.

"... I don't know if that was the alcohol talking, or if you really just said something really poetic and romantic," Arfur said, nodding. Sparcticus nodded, a grunt coming from him.

"Yeah... being with a man can't be too much from a stretch from a woman..." The Eskimo said. Arfur blinked.

"Well, I wouldn't say-"

"I mean, with a man, a man like you," Sparcticus said, placing a hand on the inn keeper's shoulder, "I can do things to you, that I could never do to a woman,"

"I beg your pardon?" Arfur said in a creeped out tone. Sparcticus nodded, using his other hand to poke his chest.

"We.. we should like... do it..."

"Sparcticus, I'm starting to think that you might have had too much to drink tonight..."

"Sahari... would be SO pissed... if we did it... we can-" Sparcticus suddenly stopped talking when his head dropped to the counter, his hands sliding off of Arfur. Arfur looked over the passed out Eskimo, poking his arm to see if he was moving. Sparcticus let out a grunt, but he was out cold. Knowing that, the inn keeper pulled out his alert system and began to dial.

"Hello? Pinata Police department? ... Yeah, I was just calling to tell you that I was just sexually harassed... Yes, it was that Eskimo guy again..."


End file.
